Today's the day! The happy, happy day on which all loyal Americans express their love, appreciation and support of their Glorious Nation! This is a great day! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!
And should you have any difficulty fulfilling your fiduciary duty to the State, never fear! Our courteous, professional staff is at your disposal, ready to assist in any way.
They'll even take care of your pets for you, while you deal with necessary matters. They wouldn't want you to be distracted.
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