Misadventures in Gardening

Okay, so the gulch has this garden plot, right? And the only thing it grows is a rosemary bush that clearly loves it there, and an occasional twig of asparagus. So I figure - Hey! I'm supposed to be this functioning survivalist, this genuine grizzled desert paranoid reclusehermit, and I should be raising something toward my own sustenance besides rosemary - which is very good in bread, but otherwise not all that terribly nutritious.

A neighbor gave me three tomato plants, and while I don't actually care for tomatoes there's still this perfectly good garden plot just sitting there. So I plant them, and they...don't die. That's a plus, I think, until I visit the neighbor's house again yesterday and theirs are going nuts and mine have basically...not died. Then I get these little plastic greenhouse thingies from Home Despot and plant a whole bunch of herb seeds, and everything's going great until I actually plant them, at which point they not only die immediately but actually vanish completely into the earth.

Ah, but we genuine grizzled desert hermits are not so easily thwarted, no we're not. So yesterday I caught a ride to the feed store in town to get some wormer meds for the boys, and the feed store finally had a few herb sets. So now I've planted sage and oregano and chives.
And started a timer for the death watch.