Recent Intercepted Memo:

FROM: Admissions Department, Hell

TO: United States of America, North American Continent, Earth

RE: Recent Admissions Application

While in the past it has been our policy to accept your evil dead for processing and karmic justice without regard to the severity of the recent decedent's earthly crimes, we regretfully find a difficulty in regard to your most recent applicant.

Energy prices having risen over the past decades to unsupportable levels, we must conclude that it is simply no longer possible to make Hell hot enough for this applicant to be properly processed. Therefore we regret that we must reject your application for this decedent's admission. Your comments with regard to an "appeals" process are perplexing to the management of this department: We must request clarification as to your definition of "appeal" and point out that it was your management, and not ours, which continually moved the decedent to offices of continually higher authority and potential for damage infliction.

Therefore, as previously noted, we are forced to conclude that this one's your problem, booby. Hell just isn't punishment enough. May we suggest you promote the corpse to senior management of General Motors instead?