I'd honestly forgotten...

...how much I hate dealing with Tracfone.

A few weeks ago a friend gave me a very nice gift: A reconditioned Tracfone camera phone. This one (supposedly) has the advantage of double minutes, which would be a big help since lately I've been spending a lot more time on the phone than I like. I sat right down at my pooter to switch my number over to this new phone.

Went through the Tracfone website, and there was (why didn't I see this coming?) some problem with the phone requiring them to send me a new SIM card. Please call our customer service number at 1-800-FUTILITY. So I called, spoke with a very nice Indian guy, got the whole thing set up.

Twenty minutes later I got an URGENT MESSAGE on my phone saying they couldn't do it, fuck you very much and goodbye.

Well...okay. I figured that, since maybe half a dozen people in the world have my number anyway, I'd just get a new number, activating the phone the usual way. But I spent all my month's money on roofing for the Secret Lair, so it would have to wait till I had money for phone time. Set the new phone down next to my pooter so I wouldn't forget it, and forgot it.

Today I got a REGISTERED LETTER from Tracfone, saying they'd tried several times to get hold of me (no they hadn't) and wouldn't I please call them at 1-800-OUROFFICESWILLBECLOSEDIFYOUFALLFORTHIS. W had picked up the letter from the post office while he was in town and said, "No, man, you don't need to buy time. There'll be twenty minutes on the phone when you activate it. Just go ahead and do it."

That didn't jibe with my experience, but what the hell? So I went back to the website, went through the whole activation thing, and got "We sent you a SIM card. Didn't you get it?" I clicked no. "Well, sorry, fuck you very much, please call 1-800-AREYOUREALLYGOINGTOFALLFORTHISAGAIN? So being a complete putz, I called the number. Spoke with a very nice Indian guy. Who put me on hold. Came back a while later to ask if he could put me on hold more. I said, "Look, this phone I'm talking on is running out of time." I had, of course, not re-charged the time on the phone because I vainly hoped I was switching phones. He put me on hold more. I watched the time tick away on my phone.

When the phone started beeping at me, I hung up on the Indian guy who had probably gone home to his curry by then anyway. Picked up the registered letter. Punched in the number, 1-800-MYGODYOUAREAGULLIBLEPUTZ. Got "Our offices are closed right now..."