Oh, we're SO into the Silly Season...

So there's this guy named Joe Miller. Okay so far? And Joe Miller is running for some political office somewhere. Nothing wrong with that, I mean, who isn't? And Joe Miller, like the approximately 300,000,000 other political candidates currently infesting the United States, isn't exactly a household name. Because nobody cares who the hell Joe Miller is. Do you name your cockroaches?

Naturally, what Joe Miller figured he needed, since he was so damned important and all, was a security team. The way you get to be important, in these United States, is to be followed around by a couple of beefy guys in ill-fitting blazers and earpieces. With luck, they'll hurt somebody and you'll get some national ink.

A few days ago, Joe Miller's fifteen minutes began. First, he hired out a school meeting hall and had himself a "Town Hall Meeting." That's something important people do; I've considered it myself. Alas, Mr. Miller failed the First Law of Public Gatherings: Tell your security goons not to rough up newsies, even if they're acting like A-holes. Because - and many generations of American politicians will back me up on this - newsies frenzy like sharks. And you're the chum, Chum.

So today I learn from - well, basically everywhere - that Miller's security goons have some 'splainin' to do to their superiors in the U.S. Army, in which they are in Active Duty status. This may or may not prove to be a problem for them, depending on whether their candidate is a Democrat and/or likely to win the election factors nobody seems very clear on.

Quoting Radley Balko here:

Hmm. Inflated sense of privilege. Inability to admit a mistake. Doubling down as it becomes increasingly clear he screwed up. Miller's looking more and more like a U.S. Senator by the hour.

But that's not the funny part. The funny part is that Joe Miller, like every other politician not taking campaign funds from La Raza, is "in favor of doing something about border security." His idea as to a good example of this suggests that he's unaware of the SECOND Law of Public Gatherings: Ban Recording Devices.



Yeah, Baby. If East Germany could, we could. Of course, East Germany wasn't being coy about the objective of its border security policy, which was to keep people in...

I'm gonna go ahead and guess he's praying for his fifteen minutes to be over, real real soon. With luck, footage of Christine O'Donnell sacrificing an infant in her latest black sabbat will emerge immediately.