Monday, December 6, 2010

I've made an important sociological discovery today.

Grouting tile is without doubt the most mindless activity ever devised by man.  It also takes a very long time.  To say the least, the mind tends to wander.  This permits a number of other random observations, possibly of less epochal importance.

  • That last glug of water in the mix will be too much.  That is most likely to be true when you've already added the last bit of grout from the bag.
  • All those former Stasi torturers not currently employed by the CIA should be put to work dealing with the people who program the music for oldies stations.
  • Though never a Carpenters fan, I wasn't actually glad that Karen Carpenter was dead until put in a position to listen to "Merry Christmas Darling" every hour on the hour.
  • Did you ever wonder if, when Paul McCartney formed Wings, he figured he wasn't so much taking a step down fame-wise as finally getting a decent backup band?
  • Is it sad that Patrick Swayze was actually a better singer than he was an actor?  I never cared about this before.
  • The day you're up to your armpits in grout, and also forgot your rifle, is the day the dogs will alert to some new strange thing every other minute.
  • Freddy Mercury was a genius, without doubt. Brian May might have been the best guitarist in commercial rock, and Queen's harmonies were beyond compare. So why is it the only Queen song the oldies station seems aware of is "Another One Bites The Dust?"
  • And BTW, if Mercury had known one day he'd be sharing a playlist with "Holly Jolly Christmas," he'd have chosen to die of AIDS or something instead. Oh, wait...Say!  He really was a genius!
  • I think I may have figured out why 42 is the Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.  But I forgot it while momentarily panicking over a (mistaken) belief that I didn't have quite enough grout.
  • If I could go back in time I'd keep Buddy Holly and his band from getting on that plane, insisting that Hall & Oates needed the seats more.  The Big Bopper could stay aboard.
  • Is it bad that the only Matrix characters I find interesting are Agent Smith and Cypher?
  • This comes to mind because after the second hour, when my shoulders felt like they were going to fall right off my torso, I started chanting, "Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?"


MamaLiberty said...

How the heck did that happen?
Actually, I suspect that rifles and grout don't go together very well.

Hate grout myself, especially a few years later when I'm trying to clean it with cleanser and an old toothbrush...

You couldn't just turn the radio off?

If I had to listen to that stuff, you'd be very glad I didn't have a rifle... and you'd take the grout trowel away from me too - LONG before Holly Jolly Christmas came on...

LOL Sounds like a heck of a job. Hope you got paid well.

Joel said...

Well, ML, I could have turned the radio off, but then there'd be nothing to listen to and I find long hours at a boring job go much easier with something in my ears - though "Holly Jolly Christmas" is pushing the envelope. A lot.

But the Lair is way down in the wash, and the only alternative was Shawn Hannity. Him, I can take only as long as it takes to turn the radio off.

Joel said...

And yeah, it's time for the Lair to get its own full-time long gun.

MamaLiberty said...

Kool! What will you get? There's always room for one more gun! :)

You might find a CD player or one of those download players instead of a radio. I'd send you some CDs, but you probably wouldn't like them. All I have is classical stuff. [big grin]

Hannity? AGGGGG I'd probably shoot the radio because I couldn't turn it off fast enough!

Joel said...

Get another gun? Where would I get the cash for another gun? I'd have to sell a gun!

No, I'm pretty sure I can find something around here somewhere...

Plug Nickel Outfit said...

I finally found one of those flashdrive Mp3 players for a price I thought was reasonable. I can load that thing up with audiobook material for when I want to have the distraction. There's a lot of material out there now to listen to that's easily downloadable and free - no forms to fill out - just a "save as" and it's yours. The only problem I've found is that I've gotten used to being able to hear what's going on around me and the earplugs make me feel sensory deprived.

I notice there's some Kipling over at the audio section of Internet Archive and I know they've got some Conrad and Doyle too! The only time I'll listen to commerical radio now is when I'm driving somewhere- and that's 'cause it's the only option!