A Modest Proposal...

Our wise, sefless public servants have suffered too long under the fear of being intimidated and threatened by syphilis-maddened hoi polloi, the unenlightened rednecks who take time from their busy schedules of beating their wives and impregnating their daughters to interfere with the work of their betters, to the detriment of the nation.

This unacceptable situation must stop.  In the wake of the atrocious attack upon the dear person of Representative Giffords, for which attack all right-thinking American subjects hold themselves in humiliation and shame, certain enlightened proposals have been put forward.  These proposals, in our opinion, do not go nearly far enough to ameliorate this unacceptable state of affairs.  More Must Be Done.

Commentator Brock Lorber has proposed a more sweeping reform measure which will at last set these outrages behind us.  We urge immediate implementation of this bold solution.

In such a place, no peasant could get within 1000' of a government official, much less carry a weapon in that close proximity. No language or symbol could be seen as threatening to wise overlords carefully bunkered in hardened, over-pressured vaults. None of the political class would have to queue up with the unwashed masses at a TSA checkpoints, as the TSA would be sequestered right along with them.

As it is, walling up the swampland known as the District of Columbia (perhaps even doming it) is the only viable solution. There, government officials – all government officials – can be safe, and still have access to their temples and monuments. Ingress and egress from the government city could be strictly controlled, requiring two safety locks (one inside, one outside) to be removed before the gate could be opened.

From government city, officials can securely and remotely administer their fiefdoms, broadcasting their directives to the proletariat via state media.

H/T to Claire.