In the year 2011, our personal force fields will keep us safe.

You can't make this stuff up, or even lampoon it.

"I don't like the idea of combating violence with violence," Helmke said in regards to students carrying weapons to class on the off-chance that a university would be faced with a shooter. "In 2011 we should have better ways to deal with that than just, 'I'll shoot them before he shoots me,' " he said.