The Ultimate Answer to Kings: When I see "RPG," I think "Rocket-Propelled Grenade."

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

When I see "RPG," I think "Rocket-Propelled Grenade."

...which, I suppose, makes me a geek of the wrong sort to fully appreciate this.

But my favorite coat is brown, after all.

H/T to Irons in the Fire.

6 comments:

russell1200 said...: Are you more or less of a geek if the first thing that comes to mind is Role Playing Game?

For me the gernade came first, but only by a hair.; February 10, 2011 at 10:15 AM
Matt said...: RPG is also "Rape Prevention Glasses." Referring to the old standard issue glasses the military used to provide, male and femal. Glasses so fugly even a rapist would be repelled. Also known as "Birth Control Glasses" because you weren't going to get laid wearing them.; February 10, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Anonymous said...: Firefly was one of my favorite series, damn shame it went belly up. I bought the DVD sets though, as well as the finale SERENITY movie. Good writing, funny as hell - Jane was a riot! My favorite line - I CALL HER VERA!; February 10, 2011 at 11:12 AM
Joel said...: Russell - no, you're not. Just a different sort.

Matt - when I first heard "RPG" applied to those horrible glasses I thought, "Yeah, that fits." But it's even more confusing than the other things.; February 10, 2011 at 12:14 PM
Linoge said...: Thanks for the linkage!

And, honestly, we are in the same boat when it comes to the acronyms, but sometimes I really let me nerd flag fly ;); February 10, 2011 at 8:56 PM
Anonymous said...: "I might have been on the losing side, but I'm still not convinced it was the WRONG side."; February 11, 2011 at 10:40 AM