Land of the free, home of the theatrically violent

Steven Seagal teams up with patriotic ol' Sheriff Joe and pours his amazing marshal arts bulk into a tank for a violent televised raid on a - chicken-raising operation? In a tank? C'mon...

PHOENIX -- Sheriff Joe Arpaio rolled out the tanks to take down a man suspected of cockfighting.

West Valley residents in the neighborhood are crying foul after armored vehicles, including a tank, rolled into their neighborhood to make the bust.

Neighbor Debra Ross was so worried she called 911 and went outside where a nearby home had its windows blown out, was crawling with dozens of SWAT members in full gear, armored vehicles and a bomb robot.

“When the tank came in and pushed the wall over and you see what's in there, and all it is, is a bunch of chickens,” Ross said.

But sleep tight, citizens! Our brave protectors have proven themselves so concerned for the chickens' standard of living that they immediately relieved them of their lives.

Thousands of dollars in damages were made to the property and 115 birds were euthanized on the spot.

And a wonderful time was had by all. Except the neighbors. And the unarmed, inoffensive guy the cops arrested. And the chickens, I suppose.

Yet people just loooove Sheriff Joe, and keep electing him. And I presume keep watching this dumbass television show I never heard of before now.