Me: Hey, did I tell you? I've been rigging one in ten of these things to peg the meter and go completely nuts at any hint of radiation.
Geiger Counter Guy: Wha?
Me: Yeah, that way whenever somebody so much as touches the button, the counter tells'em they're gonna die a slow and painful death...
GC Guy: You're...
Me: Have you heard anything about the suicide rate lately?
GC Guy: ...Fired.
Me: My job here is done.
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