Gulchendiggensmoothen to the rescue!

Some of our neighbors have shinier gear than we do. In particular, there are a couple of sweet Japanese tractors, with tools that swap out fairly easily and engines that start without complaint. I occasionally envy them that, and I'll even admit that one time I passed one on the road while driving Gulchendiggensmoothen, and was a little abashed at his beat-uplived-in appearance, as opposed to the shiny, sleek, and much newer tractor.

One thing G does have is size, and a low range that gives it old-fashioned power. And the biggest backhoe in the neighborhood. (Yes, size does matter.) And today, if the owner of that sleek little riceburner had been laughing, the laughter stopped.

There's a little seep (you could be polite and call it a spring) in a wash to the south of my usual stomping grounds. Since that wash points south, it's been getting a lot of wildlife traffic lately, no doubt refugees from the fire: You should see the tracks. J has been getting elk coming right into the yard and checking out his horses. Well, Shiny Tractor Guy got it into his head that he could dig out that seep so there's be an open pool to water the animals. A nice idea, I guess. But that seep is in a hollow filled with fine sand and clay and ash for who knows how deep. It's all saturated with water. Can you say quicksand?

The tractor stopped sinking when the frame hit the surface. He hiked home and drove his (shiny) F-250 into the wash to tow out the tractor. When he'd buried the truck to the axles, he hiked home and apparently never planned to leave it again.

GC Guy got a call from his wife. And a portion of his side of the conversation: "Hey, Joel's an operator. He's got a big tractor..." He looked at me for confirmation. I glared at him but nodded, then drove the Jeep home to get Gulchendiggensmoothen.

Praise be, he started right up. We went to the road, down the ridge, across a wash, up another ridge, down the ridge, and hung a left at the wash that has the seep. Shiny Tractor Guy was waiting there with his wife.

The truck wasn't even really stuck: There was no shovel work at all, and I just backed up till it was on firmer ground. But that shiny tractor was a sight. It was buried so deep I could barely see the wheels, and mud from top to bottom. I dug trenches for the rear wheels (and it's a good thing somebody thought to bring a shovel), but there wasn't much I could do about the front. I just connected the tow strap to the stuck tractor and G's bucket, and hoped for the best. ST Guy looked pretty dubious, but gamely waded out to his tractor and fired it up.

And Gulchendiggensmoothen pulled that thing out of that sucking mud like a cork out of a bottle. He never even strained.

When it's running, I like this tractor.