Saturday, July 30, 2011

I don't get it. Can someone explain tattoos to me?

I followed this link from Robb Allen's blog, and between that and having just visited with a local lady I know, it got me to wondering. When that happens near a keyboard, it often leads to ill-considered posting.

It's not that I have anything against it, or would pass laws forbidding it, or anything like that. As with many things I don't understand, I just...don't understand. The point of it, that is. Doesn't really make it any of my business.

First, so much can go wrong. I worked with a guy who once decided he just had to have a "green man" tattooed all over his back...

And I'm sure it would have been a better idea if he hadn't been in Thailand at the time, and if (judging purely from the evidence) the "artist" hadn't been as drunk as he was. It looked more like "pile of bright green puke." My co-worker basically determined that he would never be seen without a shirt ever again, and I only learned about it by accident. Guy ended up spending a fortune - and a very great deal of pain - getting it fixed stateside. Still looked terrible.

Then there's the fact that certain tattoos seem to go in and out of style. Tribal bands, for example - I'm sure they were all edgy and cool back when, but now they're as trendy as bellbottoms - but a lot more permanent.

There's the whole aging thing. An old CPO with navy tats on his forearms might be kinda cool, in a "been-there, done-that" kinda way. But I know a lady who's in her sixties, has clearly been and done some edgy-ass things in her life, and looks like somebody left a Picasso out in the rain - if you know what I mean. It's not that attractive.

Finally there's the matter of "identifying marks," but that's just me being paranoid and anti-cop. Ignore that.

Even when I was a kid, I didn't get the attraction. Won't say I was never tempted, but I never came close to actually succumbing to the temptation.

Seriously: Ten years from now, is this guy really gonna be glad he did this?

16 comments:

Underground Carpenter said...

Hi Joel,

The only tat I ever thought about is "Do Not Resuscitate" on my chest. Other than that, I have no interest in tattoos.

Dave

Brass said...

So true, Joel.

John B said...

I have 'gift certificates' entitling me to roughly $4000 of tattooing. This is from an artist who came down with viral meningitis. I got these from helping him build his studio and his practice. Despite a lemming like sense of me-too-ism, at 49 years I remain unmarked. I just haven't found a tattoo I wanted to spend the rest of my life with!

Matt said...

I don't get tatoos either. I don't want identifying marks either. Make them work for the id of my carcass is my thought.

I have thought of getting my very senior parents tatooed. Something simple.

If Found, please return to.... All postage paid.

Anonymous said...

I once told a friend much the same.
He said me that he LOVED women wtih tattos 'cause they were not afraid to make long term mistakes.

I do believe that aside from police, culture, and trend issues you mentioned, we may see future health problems associated with the inks. Hope not but, unintended consequences are not just for the goberments.

Spike said...

I spent 4 years in the Navy during the late 60s and early 70s. I saw lots of stupid guys get lots of stupid tattoos. I only saw one that I thought was sorta cool. It was a yellow and black spider about the size of a quarter on the back of a guy's shoulder. I was never tempted to get one and my views on the matter mirror yours. I know a young mother with 3 children who is amply illustrated on most parts of her body. I wonder what she will think of her tats in 20 or 30 years.

Anonymous said...

Joel,

Whether anyone ,either the tattoo-es or the observers, realize it or not (likely not), I'd say it all boils down to the application and expression of the fundimental principle of self-ownership. The essence of the tattoo is: I am me, an individual, and I own my body.

As for aesthetics, I'm not overly concened.

p.s. Sorry about my convoluted sentence structure.

The Grey Lady said...

Good morning Joel,

You have hit upon one of my pet peeves. I do NOT like tats at all. Of course I grew up with a bunch of great uncles that had tatts applied while on deployment WW2.

One particular uncle had a sailing ship across his chest, as you stated I am sure it was gorgeous back in the day, but take away the chest musculature of a young man in his prime, add some man boobs, sagging, wrinkled dry flesh of a sixty, seventy year old man and it was enough to cure me of the idea.

That being said the Cattleman has a few, only about 5 and he already has the next one planned, his are not trendy, they all have some sort of "meaning" to him. I don't even notice them. (I agree it is about self ownership.)

Anonymous said...

When I was a young woman, I seriously wanted to get a tattoo. Back then, it was an extremely daring thing for a female to do.

I ultimately decided not to for the "no identifying marks" others have noted.

Now the young kid who mows my lawn is in the process of getting tats all over his body -- despite the fact that one of his has already been used against him in court (the particular text of a giant tat running up his arm was allegedly a sign of his violent nature).

The day before you posted this, he showed up with the partial outline of a cobra almost completely covering his back. He boasted that it was about 1/5 complete and had cost him $300 so far. He took it as a point of pride (and seemed to expect me to be impressed with the fact) that he planned to spend $2,000 on his back before the year was out.

This is a kid who makes $10 hour -- when he works at all -- and lives with his parents.

MamaLiberty said...

Being of serious Scots heritage, the very idea of wasting money that way makes me ill... but as long as it's not my money, I can live with it.

I also hate to see people with studs and so forth stuck through their tongue and lips. (Can imagine some of the others, but they are usually kept out of sight anyway.)

I worked for years with a nurse who had one of those ball studs in her tongue and I could hardly bear to look at her when she was talking.

Since I must read lips to truly understand most people... it made our relationship rather awkward at best.

WolfSong said...

I have a few tattoos, one that's in the process of healing. Both tattoos and piercings, to me, are my celebration of who I am. My body, I own it outright, and I decorate as I see fit. *shrug* That's how I've always seen them.

That said, I waited until I was older to start getting them. Not because I didn't want them when I was younger-I have wanted tattoos since I was in my early teens-but because I wanted them to mean something to me, and at 18, or 21, or 25, I didn't feel like I had lived enough yet to memorialize anything in my skin. I didn't get trendy, off the wall flash, I got pieces that were designed for me, to fit the occasions I wanted to mark.

Plug Nickel Outfit said...

I once happened to overhear a brief exchange between an ex-biker and a small group of soccer moms. They were commenting on a tattoo he had on his forearm marking his association with outlaw bikers. One lady asked him innocently what the "FTW" meant that was so prominent within the design and without skipping a beat he replied - "fine tattoo work, Ma'am".

I also recall meeting someone once who had "Born to Lose" tattooed crudely across his knuckles. Hardly knew the guy - but it seemed he was doing a fine job of it.

I've seen a wide range of tattoos on people - some that might be genuinely artful - but never felt the urge to get myself inked.

wrm said...

We just spent three weeks in the 'states and I must say, there are a lot of really ugly tattoos out there.

But I do admire nice tattoos, and I like my one, and I like my wife's two... but it was a case of finding the art and saying "I want that" rather than wanting a tat and looking for acceptable art.

MamaLiberty said...

No problem, WolfSong - we each have our own ways of expressing that individuality and self ownership. I openly carry a gun all the time, everywhere. I suspect I've made more people uncomfortable with that than most folks with tattoos or piercings! LOL

WolfSong said...

MamaLiberty, If I lived in a land that allowed me to carry openly, I'd do that too. *grins* Canada just isn't okay with it.;-)

Carl-Bear said...

Speaking of tats:

http://xkcd.com/933/