The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Heard in a Geiger Counter Factory...

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Heard in a Geiger Counter Factory...

GC Guy's Mom: "Hey, I just heard there was an earthquake in Washington DC!"

Me: "Was anything nuclear-powered? We need another meltdown!"

No, I'm not above profiting from the misfortune of others. Why do you ask?

3 comments:

Mayberry said...: Take heart, a hurricane is headed their way...; August 23, 2011 at 5:09 PM
Big Wooly said...: I like the little snarky bits on the bottom. It's a nice touch.; August 23, 2011 at 5:47 PM
MamaLiberty said...: I heard it was a fertilizer bomb in DC... all that BS piling up, you know. But the fuse was too long (or too short?) and it went off when almost nobody was there.

Pity that.; August 24, 2011 at 2:13 PM