If you’ve never uploaded naked photographs of yourself, you are an old fart.
If you know how to spell, you are an old fart.
If you ever waited to hear your favorite song on the radio, you are an old fart.
If you remember when being radical meant hating the government, rather than relying on it, you are an old fart.
Some of these go pretty wide of the mark, of course, but some made me laugh. My personal favorite:
If you still feel a twinge of dread seeing a phone number with a lot of “9″s and “0″s, you are an old fart.Hee ... I'd add "If you even know what that means, you are an old fart."