The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Forget what I said about dying yesterday...

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Forget what I said about dying yesterday...

It turns out I'm immortal.

4 comments:

MamaLiberty said...: Indeed.. but who's got time to mess around with an itty bitty cup like that? Mine holds 24 ounces, and I usually drink two of them each day... sometimes more.

:); May 26, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Matt said...: I'm not sure that much coffee would transfer immortality. When I was drinking somewhere around 32-64 ounces per day I was so hard to get along with I am pretty sure the odds of someone shooting me had negated any immune benefits of the coffee.; May 26, 2012 at 3:35 PM
MamaLiberty said...: I hear you Matt... I'm all alone here and have little risk of irritating anyone but myself. So far, that's not been a problem. :)

But yes, 64 ounces would be pushing it. :); May 27, 2012 at 6:20 AM
Anonymous said...: The real lesson is that most of the so-called studies and reports from the scientific community should be taken with a grain of salt. Is coffee bad for you as the previous studies concluded or good for you as the latest studies report? Who knows, least of all the scientific community. I predict that another study yet to be started will report that indeed coffee is bad for you.

I will admit that finally they have said chocolate is good for you. I don't eat anymore or less but it gives me a chance to refute anyone who dislikes my junkfood habits. Now if only chips were good for you...; May 27, 2012 at 9:28 AM

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Friday, May 25, 2012

Forget what I said about dying yesterday...

4 comments:

Why the hell did you scroll all the way down here?