Saturday, May 5, 2012

Guilty secrets of being a guy...

You know what I've always wanted? I mean, ever since they got popular with the mall ninja crowd and we started hearing about them, so when I say "always" I really mean a couple of years?

I've always wanted my very own tomahawk.

Not a "throw it and watch it bounce off the log" tomahawk, either. A real, cool tactical tomahawk.

I have no explanation for this. Looking back on my life, I can't think of a single time I squeaked out of some high-pucker-factor situation thinking, "God, if only I'd had a tomahawk." Hasn't happened once. Don't expect it soon.

Sometimes it's a little embarrassing being me.

UPDATE: Something heartwarming and further embarrassing just happened. A very good friend emailed me. He'd followed the link and said, "I ain't buying you a $300 tomahawk. But there's this cheaper one from SOG - you want that? 'Cause I'll buy you that." Which was really cool, and it made my day, but I had to explain that - while it's true I do kinda want one - my need for a tomahawk roughly parallels my need for a third nipple. I only wrote about tomahawks because mixing bowls aren't funny.


Matt said...

I have a few Tomahawks. Two of the bounce of the log variety, and one tactical, SOG Fusion. They are a lot of fun and the SOG fusion does a great job cutting up fudge and other hard stuff in the kitchen. It can also quarter large pieces of wild animal.

Even without a real use for one, it just seems right to have at least one Tomahawk.

Anonymous said...

I was with a buddy at the gun show in Costa Mesa last year and we each bought a Cold Steel trench hawk. I'm pretty sure the awesomeness factor of simply owning those have kept both he and I out of high pucker factor incidents since acquisition. He actually uses his working for me doing general property maintenance. I get no silly complaints from the tenants anymore.


DonkeyBuster said...

Hey, man, bread & roses, bread & roses...
so your rose is a tomahawk, you should have one. You are a hermit, not a hermit monk.

That would be me. =0)

Except now I'm lusting after a tomahawk. Visions of hacking winter squash dancing in my head...