The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Oh, for god's sake...

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Oh, for god's sake...

Be afraid, America. Be very afraid. Terrorists walk among you, and your freedom and safety are in the hands of Complete Freaking Idiots.

Witness, for your terrorized edification, the new face of terrorism in America.

Thank you, Jet Blue and TSA! Who knows what carnage could have ensued? Why, if not for our beloved Saviors in Uniform, we wouldn't have any freedom left!

3 comments:

mizdeb said...: Freakin' idiots!!!!!!; May 11, 2012 at 11:21 AM
Matt said...: Of course she is a terrorist, that sippy cup holds more than 3 ounces.; May 11, 2012 at 12:03 PM
Mayberry said...: Thank God for the Testicle Squeezer ASSociation, for without them, I would tremble with fear over the prospects of mutant infant terrorists causing me slight discomfort and incontinence...; May 11, 2012 at 8:46 PM