Thursday, May 24, 2012

That trench behind M's Dome needed its own name...

...So I decided to name it

Profanity Alley

I made a deal with Ian sometime late last year
He traded me a pistol for some work
I quite admit it seemed to me a good idea
Didn't know that I was being such a jerk

Going down, rolling down
Down Profanity Alley where I spend my time
Going down, falling down
If you find me at the bottom won't you drop a dime?

When I dig into the pile to pick up a load
But only get me a few teaspoons and a rock
When the tractor climbs a hillside and runs out of fuel
I get to thinking this adventure is a crock

Going down, rolling down
Down Profanity Alley in a clapped-out Ford
Going down, falling down
One good thing is I'm unlikely to find myself bored

And sometimes when the tractor feels like it will roll
And that I'm going to squash under the wheels
I tell myself that physics is still on my side
But I tell you that's sure not the way it feels

Going down, rolling down
Ol' Profanity Alley gonna kill me soon
Going down, running down
When I die they're gonna clean the mess up with a spoon

And when for the tenth time that day the tractor's stuck
And I think that it will never be the same
I say some words my dear old mother wouldn't approve
There's no question that my driving's kinda lame

Going down, rolling down
'Cause Profanity Alley isn't none too wide
Going down, creeping down
If I live a thousand years I'll see the other side

Now even though you hear me say some mournful words
And sometimes curse my father for my birth
I understand that promises are meant to be kept
So I keep on showing up to dig the earth

Going down, rolling down
Down Profanity Alley every blessed morn
Going down, trudging down
Seems like I've been filling trenches since the day I was born

But if someday you find me on the bottom slope
With a tractor's bucket wrapped around my head
Don't want you thinking that it's such an awful shame
You don't have to shovel no more when you're dead

Going down, rolling down
Down Profanity Alley where I'm gonna stay
Going down, laying down
And I knew what I was getting into anyway

Just promise me that you won't put me in the ground
Leave me on a hilltop for the birdies' beaks
I've already seen enough time at the bottom of a hole
And I figure that the critters gotta eat

No matter how much you may hear me bitch and moan
Remember this old fella knows the score
I spent most of my life inside a carpeted cube
And I'd rather dig a hundred cent'rys more

Take me up, carry me up
And Profanity Alley is a better deal
Take me up, carry me up
To Profanity Alley for a turn of the wheel

3 comments:

Ian said...

You sure know how to make a guy feel guilty about a deal...

Anonymous said...

"Just promise me that you won't put me in the ground
Leave me on a hilltop for the birdies' beaks
I've already seen enough time at the bottom of a hole
And I figure that the critters gotta eat"

LOL. Joel, you should put these writing talents and that imagination to serious use. You could make money -- or at least make a name for yourself.

John B said...

Hope it is a damn good pistol!
C'mon Joel give us the gory details!