White House Czar Calls for End to 'War on Drugs'

You cannot, no matter how you try, make this shit up. Remember when The Onion was funny? Now it can't stay snarky enough to keep up with realitywhat passes for reality.

Here we go:

WASHINGTON -- The Obama administration's new drug czar says he wants to banish the idea that the U.S. is fighting "a war on drugs," a move that would underscore a shift favoring treatment over incarceration in trying to reduce illicit drug use.

In his first interview since being confirmed to head the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, Gil Kerlikowske said Wednesday the bellicose analogy was a barrier to dealing with the nation's drug issues.

"Regardless of how you try to explain to people it's a 'war on drugs' or a 'war on a product,' people see a war as a war on them," he said. "We're not at war with people in this country."

Yeah. I believe that. Please allow Joelnac The Magnificent to examine the stars and predict your future life under this kinder, gentler rhetorical regime:

*CRASH*

"Down! Down! Down on the f*cking floor, you motherf*ckers! We're here to treat your unfortunate drug pathology! Lemme see them diseased f*cking hands!"

BANG!BANG!BANG!YIPE!! "And it looks like your dog needed treatment, too!"