Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm a widdle tinker...

One of my neighbors has been saving his shekels for months, determined that for once he was going to own a really nice, shiny used SUV. He researched, and he shopped, and he did all the right things. Finally, yesterday, he decided he'd found the perfect truck for him. But he wanted a second opinion, and so I tagged along while we caught a ride with another neighbor to the town about 50 miles away where he'd seen the truck.

The truck is really nice: a 2000 Nissan XTerra that's just unbelievably clean for its miles. These people don't have dogs, kids, or one single bad habit. The price was not spectacular, but reasonable. He and I looked the truck over, and damned if we could find a single significant reason for him not to buy this truck. Plus he really liked it.

So he paid the price, counting out $100 bills. And so we drove the truck home, and it was just completely sweet. As far as I can tell, this is the newest 10-year-old motor vehicle I've ever been acquainted with. He was delighted with his new wheels, and especially vocal about the fact that, for the first time in his life, the air conditioner worked!

We made a stop at a store in the little town nearest home; he went in and I stayed with the truck. When he came back, approaching from the rear, I heard him exclaim in horrified tones, "Oh, man! There's something pouring out the bottom!"

I had a fair idea I knew what the 'something' was: after such an uneventful transit, it was unlikely to be coolant or oil. But do want to at least be sure. So I got out, knelt by the truck, and stuck my finger in the rapidly-swelling puddle. Smelled it, tasted it: It was just as I thought.

But I couldn't resist. "Oh, no!" I yelled. I tore off my cap and threw it on the ground. "God damn it!"

I should have ensured myself of the poor guy's cardiac condition before I pulled this. "What? What is it?" I didn't mean to send him into his worst nightmare.

I stood up and laughed. "Nothing," I said. "It's pure water. Condensation from your AC evaporator. It's supposed to do that. If it didn't drain out, it'd ruin your carpet." He'd never owned a car with air conditioning.

There was silence for the space of several seconds, and then my neighbor issued a precise and considered, and entirely negative, opinion of my character. Rather calmly, I thought. :-D


Uncle W. said...

You're a sadist, Joel. But you write damned well about it. I sure would have loved to see the look on that neighbor's face when he thought his brand-new prize was coming apart before he ever got it home.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha! I'll have to show this one to my husband...he'll love it!

CaptGooch said...

Hi...larious still giggling ....
The twists and turns of the hermit sense of humor.
I do know that I too would not have been able to resist .... and I can't even attempt to claim hermithood.

Nice one Joel but .... just a tad on the cruel side.

Wow your "captcha" thingie is at it again .... what is a "anionst" an anarchist reporter for the Onion ?