The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Paddle Faster!

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Paddle Faster!

Hm. Actually, I think I'm in this video...

4 comments:

Thunder said...: Yeah...I thought I saw you, too but the guy was holding a banjo, not an AK-47.

Didn't look nearly as mean and ornery as you, either nor did he have a cunning hat.; December 30, 2009 at 6:00 PM
Uncle W. said...: Guess Joel hasn't told too many people ... but he does play the banjo.

And he only wears the cunning hat on really special occasions. Like when he's having his official blog photo taken. Pity. That hat is ... unique.; December 31, 2009 at 2:21 PM
The Dog said...: Not 'nuff hound dawgs in that thar vidyo.; December 31, 2009 at 2:27 PM
Joel said...: Did. Did play the banjo. Gave it up when all those cops were coming around, after what happened to those tourists in the canoes...

I mean...me? Banjo? Never touched one.; December 31, 2009 at 5:03 PM

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Paddle Faster!

4 comments:

Why the hell did you scroll all the way down here?