I'd be thinking, "Whoo Hoo! Free Gun!"

I mean, y'know, considering that technically I paid for it and all...

Since the customs enforcer apparently didn't want it any more, and all...

Oh, I know. Leave other people's stuff alone, or turn it in at the Principal's desk.

But still, this gets under my skin. First we have this emanation from the flock:

“I can’t even express how that makes me feel,” [the lady who discovered the pistol] said. “They are supposed to be here to protect us.”

Yeah - lady? They're not here to protect you. They're here to protect Uncle Sugar's cashflow. A customs agent is the moral equivalent of an IRS agent, which is not the moral equivalent of a tapeworm because the tapeworm doesn't have a choice about being a parasite. 'Kay? Also, I don't give a damn how anything 'makes you feel,' but you really should get over your irrational fear of simple machines.

Then the brief article finishes with this howler:

So far, customs officials have not explained how a highly trained agent could commit such a serious security breach.

It is vitally important, citizens, that you remember at all times that the thugs employed by selfless agents of our beloved protectors are virtually superhuman in their talents, their vigilance, their dedication to your safety and security. They are ninjas in business suits, and they think of nothing all day long but of keeping you in your place making you ever more safe and secure.

In fact they are ordinary people, if on an evil path, and sometimes they leave common items in bathrooms. As someone who wears a handgun most waking hours, I am aware that when you try to use the throne without unholstering your pistol it has an unpleasant habit of dragging your pants to the floor with an unsettling thud. Therefore I unholster it before dropping trou, and therefore I sometimes forget and walk out of the WC without it. I generally don't go far without noticing that it's missing, and so far this has never happened in a public washroom, but still. Wear a pistol every day, and you will forget it's there. Or not there. Or whatever.

"Highly trained agent," my ass.