I've died and gone to Kentucky.

My new part-time shit-shoveling gig is working out well so far. My neighbors have tried various ways of making money from goats. The original plan was meat and milk. This was reduced to milk only when it turned out they couldn't bring themselves to slaughter goat kids. Then the "milk" part went away when selling goat milk turned out to be more work than the money was worth. Now they just raise boer goats and sell them to other people who want boer goats. Exactly why there's a market for that, I don't know. But there is.


This guy has the Best Job Ever. He gets paid to lay around and occasionally screw a lady goat. Why can't my species be like this?

Oh, yeah. Because most of his siblings ended up between pita slices. Never mind.

Baby goats actually manage to be cuter than kittens, IMO. It's a shame that they grow up to be...well, goats. Also that they're so damned tasty.

The lady goats also have a pretty easy time of it, given that (again, unlike my species) they seem to regard childbirth as just another day in the life.

This is Luna, a five-month-old puppy who's feeling very put-upon right now. She's a Pyrenees mix, definitely going to be extremely large and advertised to be extremely aggressive with strange animals that come around to molest the flock. She's supposed to identify with the goats as her charges, and maybe when she's grown she will. But right now she's just a puppy who doesn't understand why all the other dogs get to live in the house, sleep on the furniture and get hugs and cuddles while she has to live with the goats. Since my principal programming is "dog nanny," I seem to be unable to leave this situation alone which means she gets a good wrestle after I've cleaned up whatever goat pen she's in. It also means that after TSHTF, I'll be the only outsider she'll actually assist in stealing goats. Heh.

The neighbors have three horses, a Stallion From Hell who's currently away for some sort of training, and two mares. The mares are sweethearts; I actually wish they were less friendly so I could get my job done without them carrying off the rake. But I confess I'm not looking forward to the return of the stallion. He's an unmanageable bastard.