The downside of "off the radar"

My papers are not in order. It's a sad fact.

Even back when I went to some effort to keep my papers neatly in order, they were usually screwed up in some way. Some license or registration out of date, some form not filled out right or sent to the wrong office. If I ever in my life went to a DMV office to renew a driver's license and actually accomplished that on the first try, the incident isn't coming to mind right now. So it isn't really a political statement, just a Freudian thing: I'm terrible about paperwork.

In the past several years, of course, this has become a real issue because on some matters I don't even try anymore. I have no driver's license, for example, and for various reasons not to be discussed here I would find it difficult and expensive to change that. For a long time I drove around anyway - yes you CAN drive without a license, the car starts right up - but then I got caught and it was an extremely humiliating and expensive experience which I mostly strive not to repeat. So now I don't even own a car - the Jeep belongs to Landlady, and while I use it for local, mostly off-road chores I don't often risk it by going into town. One of the downsides of small towns is that once the local law knows you, it doesn't forget you.

This raises certain complications. I can and do store one freak of a lot of beans and rice, but a steady diet of little but that makes life itself a burden after a while. So I impose on neighbors for rides a lot, trying to keep karmic balance by always showing up when they want something done, but that doesn't always work. My neighbors are also largely hermits, and sometimes the ride supply just dries up. This was the case for quite some time before last week, when I suddenly found myself fully employed and without the time to bum rides or take very long walks through the desert. Which meant I was down to pretty much nothing in the pantry except the bulk stuff - I didn't even have time to bake bread. Yesterday afternoon I went to raid the last of Landlady's old supply of dried potatoes, and found out why that rat has been so evident in the pantry lately...

Between that and the egg lady down the road going out of business, that was just the last friggin' straw. I wanted something fresh to eat, and I wanted it now. Here I had a pocket full of money, and nothing I could spend it on!

So last night I waited for dark and did something bad. I locked up the boys - making sure to top off the water in case I didn't come back - and I snuck into town. So now, until I get paid tomorrow, I don't have a pocket full of money. But I do have potatoes and onions and eggs and quicky lunch stuff and booze and tobacco and gasoline.

And having gotten away with it this once, except for a twinge of conscience over the risk to Landlady's Jeep, I don't feel a damn bit bad about that. Guess I'm just evil.