The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Water not necessarily wet, says EU.

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Water not necessarily wet, says EU.

See, this is why we need government right here.

Brussels bureaucrats were ridiculed yesterday after banning drink manufacturers from claiming that water can prevent dehydration.

EU officials concluded that, following a three-year investigation, there was no evidence to prove the previously undisputed fact.

Producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from making the claim and will face a two-year jail sentence if they defy the edict, which comes into force in the UK next month.

I think the part that most grabs me about this is that it actually took a three-year investigation for them to reach their wildly-wrong conclusion, which they promptly offered to enforce with EU guns.

4 comments:

DonkeyBuster said...: Those folks either need to get out in the sun more or have been in it far, far too long. I vote for the former, knowing how useless gov't nobs are (notice clever British witticism) & how easily they suck up resources w/out noticing.

A week shoveling manure in the SW oughta do 'em some serious good.

In lieu of that, just turn off their water...
Come to think of it, I don't want 'em anywhere near my manure works... heaven only knows how they'd mess that up & it would just make more work for me.

Hah! Tho' it would be enormous fun pointing out that S*** don't stink, just like water doesn't prevent dehydration.; November 21, 2011 at 12:29 PM
Jim said...: I hope this development is not noticed by our own CPSC, FTC, EPA. Or anyone else with government ID and a yen to drive us into national bankruptcy a little faster. Can we imagine how many euros were pissed away on this one?; November 21, 2011 at 4:08 PM
Anonymous said...: Do they have a recommendation as to what will hydrate you? Or will that take another three year study?; November 22, 2011 at 10:12 AM
Kevin Wilmeth said...: "I think the part that most grabs me about this is that it actually took a three-year investigation for them to reach their wildly-wrong conclusion..."

Even more wrong than spending three years on the--uh--"investigation": someone proposed it in the first place. As Mike V might put it: there were meetings...people signed off on this...

Like you just said recently: with such absurd people in the world, what use is satire?; November 22, 2011 at 12:19 PM