The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Sometimes good things come in gurgling packages.

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Sometimes good things come in gurgling packages.

Hey, kids! Do you know what happened on this date in 1933?

Here's a hint...

That's right! Everybody wore hats!

6 comments:

DonkeyBuster said...: Such dignity, such savoir faire, such fashion sense. Not a pair of droopy drawers in the bunch, I'll bet.

Hold on... is that foamy stuff in stemmed glasses?!; December 5, 2011 at 2:07 PM
Pat H. said...: AND, alcohol prohibition ended.; December 5, 2011 at 2:33 PM
Mayberry said...: I'm drin... er... wearing a hat right now! : ); December 5, 2011 at 3:55 PM
The Grey Lady said...: And it was the end for my french Canadian family fortunes who supplied a fine blinding beverage to some american group of fellers.; December 5, 2011 at 5:58 PM
Tam said...: I dunno, but on this date in 2011 another dozen or so people were killed in violence associated with the struggle between the Sinaloa and Zeta cartels.

The Budweiser and Coors drivers just wake at each other.

Perhaps there is a connection...; December 6, 2011 at 6:54 AM
Tam said...: "Wave", dammit, not "wake".; December 6, 2011 at 6:54 AM