You know what I hate?

I hate uncertainty. I don't mean minor uncertainties, like what book I'll read next or whether I should have rice or macaroni for supper. I mean major uncertainties, where I don't know if something is going to be screwed up or not, and it really matters, and there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it.

Case in point: This morning. The installer guy is supposed to come and move the satellite dish and modem from Landlady's barn to the Secret Lair. It's one of those deals where you just have to leave open a slot between eight and twelve. He may be late, but most likely if twelve o'clock rolls around and he hasn't shown, he isn't going to. In fact, most likely he won't show up anyway, no matter what time it is, because that's the way things work around here with tradesmen. And while it'd be cool to have internet access at the Lair the truth is I don't want some stranger nosing around it, so part of me won't mind when he doesn't show up. Not showing up is pretty much par, so that won't upset me. It's the uncertainty: Will he or won't he? Only he knows for certain, if he does, which isn't certain.

Then there's the water thing. It's going from huge irritation to actual problem. This morning, after a night that should not under the most unlikely scenario have frozen anything, I woke to zero water pressure. Again.

Last time I lost pressure, the cistern was empty. There's no reason the cistern should ever be empty: I'm the only one using the water and I just don't use that much. It's a 2600 gallon tank: It would take months for me to use it up. It happened last time right after a couple of cloudy days, which meant the well pump wasn't working or at least not very much. This morning was also the first sunny morning in a couple of days, and when I checked the cistern it was virtually empty: An inch or two, just enough to keep the sediment out of the pipes. It wasn't full before the last cloudy spell, but I don't use that much water.

Therefore, beyond reasonable doubt, one of two things is happening. The system is leaking somewhere, or the water is draining back into the well when the pump isn't running. A one-way valve is supposed to prevent that last thing, but they fail. I've been over every inch of the system where there's any plumbing at all, indoors and out, and can find no hint of a leak. A thousand gallons of water usually leaves a sign of its passage, you know? It's not that hard.

Sometimes living off-grid is a pain in the ass. You either accept that going in or you shouldn't do it. I accepted it years ago. But sometimes the pain is worse than other times. Running water is such a delightful luxury: Even though I went without it for more than a year, just the past few weeks have spoiled me completely. This is not something I'm prepared to just live with, like I usually do. I've got to find and fix the problem.