The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Sometimes you gotta stand next to people you can't stand.

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Sometimes you gotta stand next to people you can't stand.

O: Hey, at least I didn't call you Chimpy McHitler, you f**king fascist.

B: Shut up and smile for the camera, you f**king commie. And stop poking me.

3 comments:

Mayberry said...: I nominate that for Caption of the Year : ); June 2, 2012 at 12:47 PM
MamaLiberty said...: Seconded, Craig. :)

The frightening thing is that anyone on the face of the planet actually might take either of these cretins seriously.

It just doesn't seem possible that there are so many people more stupid than they are!; June 3, 2012 at 9:41 AM
BobG said...: "It's all HIS fault."; June 4, 2012 at 2:33 PM