The Ultimate Answer to Kings: Now listen carefully.

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Now listen carefully.

The Secret Lair Has Running Water. The Secret Lair Has Running Water.

The Brown Dog Likes to Ride in the Jeep. The Brown Dog Likes to Ride in the Jeep.

That is all, message ends.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...: Congrats on a major milestone!; October 22, 2011 at 4:29 PM
Brass said...: But is the chair against the wall?; October 22, 2011 at 5:27 PM
OneBrickShortOfALoad said...: "The secret lair has running water."

You mean it won't turn off? Bummer, man.; October 22, 2011 at 6:03 PM
Groundhog said...: Roger that. Commencing operation faucet...; October 22, 2011 at 6:43 PM
Claire said...: Hooray, Joel! Nice work. Big milestone. I'll bet there were times you wondered if you'd ever see this day.; October 22, 2011 at 7:35 PM
MamaLiberty said...: Kool!

I didn't know you had a brown dog...; October 23, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Anonymous said...: Baker, Oscar, Oscar, Mike.
Baker, Oscar, Oscar, Mike.; October 23, 2011 at 10:33 AM
Joel said...: Baker, Oscar, Oscar, Mike.

Not around my place, please.; October 23, 2011 at 11:33 AM
Anonymous said...: John has a long mustache. The chair is against the wall. Frogs in winter.

kel; October 23, 2011 at 4:40 PM
The Grey Lady said...: A tin of real Canadian Maple syrup coming your way to celebrate this milestone. Email me with your current addy and I will send forthwith.

Heh.....your word verification is serum.; October 24, 2011 at 10:57 AM
Joel said...: email sent, GL, and thanks.; October 24, 2011 at 11:59 AM