The Ultimate Answer to Kings: You wanna know what's really cool?

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

You wanna know what's really cool?

Expiration dates on stuff that doesn't easily go bad. I love them.

Saturday morning M showed up at the Secret Lair, and he was holding not his usual rilly cool gun for show and tell but a case of beer. There were two more up in the ridge in his truck.

You gotta love a guy who'd remember that the old hermit squatting on his land isn't abstemious. And you gotta love a store that routinely marks out-of-date beer very far down. Even though it drinks just fine.

Thanks, M! Thanks, unknown store!