The Ultimate Answer to Kings: WHO'S "socially maladept?"

They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."

I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.

It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.

The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

WHO'S "socially maladept?"

He’s a crotchety, socially maladept hermit who lives alone by choice with dogs and a cat...

Boy, you write one little book review...

14 comments:

DonkeyBuster said...: There, there... LB is waaay better looking than her...; November 22, 2011 at 2:16 PM
Claire said...: ... her what, DonkeyBuster???

And Joel, fess up. You know what you are and you're proud.; November 22, 2011 at 2:51 PM
DonkeyBuster said...: OOooo, now who's crochety?
=); November 22, 2011 at 4:58 PM
Claire said...: LOL, yeah. I shoulda put a smiley on that ...; November 22, 2011 at 6:11 PM
Mayberry said...: Heh heh heh... From another "socially maladept" (though not a hermit, dammit), I gotta say something for Claire for Joel: Nya Nya, Nya Nya, pffffffftttttt!!!! Us social maladepts gotta stick together : ); November 22, 2011 at 6:44 PM
DonkeyBuster said...: You can put a smiley on it, but LB is still better looking.
{{snork}}
=0D; November 22, 2011 at 7:31 PM
Joel said...: Hey, now. LB's a fine looking dog, but better looking than Claire? Not to me. I never get that lonely.

I may not be PROUD of being "socially maladroit," Claire, but I do admit I've relaxed to it. :); November 23, 2011 at 9:41 AM
Claire said...: Funny thing is, as Joel can confirm, I was around for most of LB's growing-up time and I always said he might be one of the sweetest, most mellow dogs on the planet, but he was going to be UGLY.

And he was. Really was. A lot of dogs go through a period of being lopsided (front or back lets shorter than the other end) when they're adolescents. But LB looked like he was going to turn out to be the freaking Hunchback of Notre Dame. Besides which, he looked like a combo of a Newfoundland and ... well, lord knows what sort of weird mongrel.

Now ... yeah, even I admit he's a handsome fella these days.

But now, DonkeyBuster, see what a can of worms you opened by not completing that statement! Certain posters whom I shall not name are conjuring up images that are simply not to be spoken.

FWIW, I still think my ("her") dogs are all at least as beautiful as LB. But any comparison between me and LB in any sense ... no.

Although come to think of it I was probably occasionally called a dog in my earlier years.; November 23, 2011 at 9:58 AM
Claire said...: ... front or back "lets"?

Um, that should have been "legs." Now you know why writers need editors and proofreaders.; November 23, 2011 at 9:59 AM
jack said...: Hey Joel, there's nothing wrong with being "socially maladept", especially with the way the society is going...; November 23, 2011 at 7:21 PM
DonkeyBuster said...: ellipses, the rabbit snare of writing...
LOL

Actually, the initial ellipses weren't meant to imply anything other than a mild drifting off of the mind... flushed a twitchy, tho'. Most amused. =0)

As all I have ever seen of you is the peak of your hat, & your hair, I only had that to compare. Wavy, glistening, jet black, frolicsome locks... on LB.; November 24, 2011 at 8:37 AM
Joel said...: Better quit while you're ahead, DB, lest you learn that Daewoo didn't just make cars. 8^); November 24, 2011 at 9:00 AM
Anonymous said...: I have spent years honing the art of being socially maladept and I resent the implication that it's naturally come-by or easily perfected. ;p; November 24, 2011 at 12:10 PM
Claire said...: DonkeyBuster ... Oh, you mean you were actually mocking ME. Well, that's okay, then.

I thought you were disparaging something much more important -- my dogs.

Anonymous and Craig -- I salute you for perfecting your Art. :-); November 24, 2011 at 3:16 PM