Ian, Ian, Ian...

Only he could find a way to make a revolver with a bayonet look cool. Because it's not mall ninja gear when it's a 100-year-old Webley...

It IS a rather frightening thought...

Is that alligator smoking a cigar?

I've had about three disjointed lines from this dumb song stuck in my head for days. Guess my subconscious is trying to get with the season.



Yeah, I grew up with a better class of comics than you young fellers did...

Argh. They say a dog...

...knows the difference between being kicked and being tripped over. I'm not so sure.

I came out of the scriptoreum to, um, chase some mutant zombie bikers. Yeah, that's it. And on my way to the tree Little Bear came running over to say hey, like we hadn't seen each other five minutes before when he got tired of hanging around in the cold dark room with Daddy and wanted out in the sun, right? And he INSERTED HIS PAW DIRECTLY UNDER MY DESCENDING PLASTIC FOOT, over which I have little control, and I swiveled to keep from crushing it, and he darted forward no doubt with the same objective, and he caught my right foot in the ribs, and he let out a yelp like I'd shot him in the pancreas, and then I fell right over him, and I think he maybe got a knee in the ribs 'cause he gave me another agonized yelp like this was his last moment on earth, and I skinned my other knee and about impaled my right palm on a rock trying to keep from just landing on him with all my weight, and I roll over on my back and I'm moaning and yelling, and he comes over and sticks his muzzle in my face and knocks my hat off and I think he's trying to tell that he doesn't know if I was beating on him or playing with him but just for the record if he gets a choice he prefers the latter, okay?

I gotta get a better class of dog. And some iodine.

The 1911 Gets Godwined!

From Random Acts of Patriotism, courtesy of The Travis McGee Reader.

Where else but Chicago?

Seen at Days of our Trailers...

Panel backs new fine for guns near schools, parks

People toting guns within 500 feet of Chicago schools and parks would get hit with an additional $3,000 fine under a measure endorsed Thursday by the City Council Public Safety Committee.

The additional fines also would apply to those loitering near schools as part of gang or drug activities under the proposal, set for a full council vote Wednesday. Current fines for the offenses range from $100 to $500, and the new fines would be added to those, said Ald. Ariel Reboyras, 30th, who proposed the measure.

"It just sends a clear message that we're not going to tolerate it," Reboyras said. "If you're going to do it, you're going to pay."

Reboyras conceded the fines are unlikely to deter wrongdoing.

"The bad guy's going to do what the bad guy does — fines mean nothing to them," he said. "But if nothing else, it steps up the fines, and if we should happen to catch someone, they'll pay another fee. That's all. It just adds more money to the revenue."

What can you even say to that?

"I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot, but..."

Your garbage is my gold.

When a plot of ground gets graded for a house, a fair number of junipers are usually bulldozed to their deaths. And since cedar is often reluctant to rot, there they sit: shoved off to one side, a haven for rats and rattlesnakes.

I've got a couple of neighbors who, hearing I've switched to a wood-based economy for my heating, have invited me onto their places to haul the crap off. One of them has gotten kind of insistent about it. Guess I can't blame him: The 'dozer guy must have wiped out a brazillian trees, and they're stacked up like a hedgerow darn near a hundred yards long. Been there for years.

A lot of this isn't of much use to me. The dozer half-buries them in dirt, and cedar does rot sometimes. But it also often doesn't, and so I've been driving around with the trailer behind the Jeep, collecting trailer-loads. Once they're back on my place, an hour on the sawbuck with the chainsaw gives me a couple of days' firewood without even raising a sweat.

It beats hauling the stuff out of the boonies, and this time of year I don't have to worry about snakes.

What was it worth?

This is a subject I avoid, mostly. There are strong feelings on either side. But I've got a son-in-law in the military, husband of my only daughter, father of my only grandchild, and this picture got to me. If I ever see a picture of Grandatter posed like this, there had better be a good reason. I care a hell of a lot more about them than I do about who rules Kabul this week.

And that's all I've got to say.

H/T to Robb Allen.

When Seniors Explode?

Okay, nothings going on in my life worth talking about (I cut some wood! I flushed my toilet! Yeah, you've got all that) and nothing seems to be going on in the world worth linking to. I'm going back to my (cooler than yours) cabin.

But check this out, courtesy of Claire. It's short and funny and should make TSA people want to hang themselves in embarrassment. But they won't. Because they hate us and think we suck.

Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about the weather now. Till next time.

Except to say we finally got our first single-digit night, and the cabin came through pretty well. Unfortunately the fire I set to smolder decided it would rather go out entirely, fairly early, so things did get a bit shivery. But it was a sunny afternoon in the Caribbean compared to what the RV put me through night after night for five winters, and I am completely not complaining. This was the first morning when I felt the lack of floor insulation, but still - a wool sock under a sandal, and my toes were a little chilly but nowhere near frostbit. I'll take it.

Now we're due, if the weatherman continues his surprising run of accuracy, for several sunny days with increasingly warm afternoons. Now that I have my chains back the wood rack is filling back up nicely, the Jeep starts and runs better (The power had gotten so low it didn't even like to idle - I'm guessing it was messing with the injector pulsewidths, but it's the first time I've seen a bad battery cause an engine not to want to run right) and all is right with my world. Looks like the satellite dish will get moved early next week - if all goes well, which around here is by no means guaranteed.

Speaking of the RV, it took roughly a week for the vermin to decide the coast was clear. And they must have been impressive: I left maybe an inch of food in the dog's dish, figuring I might want to shelter LB in there during the transition. That never happened, but that food is completely gone.

Back in the saddle again!

Woke this morning to a couple of problems that were going to have me illegally driving right through town in broad daylight, something I avoid, because I had two physical needs that could no longer be put off. I needed my chainsaw chains in the worst way, and the battery in the Jeep is dying so fast that every time I start the engine might be the last.

It dawned very cold this morning, as predicted, and so I hung around the cabin until late before going shit-shoveling. Intended to head to town right after that. Mentioned my situation to J, who told me H was going in and I should tag along with her.

Now, I don't normally ask to bum rides from H, because she really doesn't enjoy that and I don't go where I'm not welcome. But she cheerfully agreed to help me out, even to the extent of hanging around when it turned out Mike at the saw shop didn't have my chains done as promised. While we were waiting I went to the auto parts store and bought a heart-breakingly expensive battery, which hopefully will last longer than the second-hand battery I got last time. Now the battery's charged, I'm ready to cut the firewood I've got stacked at the lair tomorrow, and I've gone from being a mildly worried man to one without a problem in the world.

Always wise to keep good relations with the neighbors.

"Critical thinking is unpatriotic."

This piece from Popehat is worth your time. In fact, quite aside from what it has to say on the WoD, it addresses a major way I've always found so many conservatives annoying.

But patriotism, as defined by modern law enforcement — as defined by the sort of people who seek power in government — isn’t about exercising faculties like critical thinking or independent moral judgment. It’s about saluting, in the way we salute flags and fallen soldiers and parades, core ideas that have been transformed from policy arguments into quasi-religious dogma. The War on Drugs is merely one of many — along with “War on Terror” and “Government Regulators Know What They Are Doing” and “The Political Process In America Works.” Few of us salute them all, but most of us salute at least a few.

I don't. And I am frequently called unpatriotic by people I don't have a lot of fundamental disagreements with.

Seen at Tam's and Unc's, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it elsewhere.

Contact has been made...

Got a call from a person. In a place. Soon the satellite dish and modem will be professionally moved out to the Secret Lair, which means I don't have to confine the dogs, drive a mile, and sit in a shivery room watching my fingers freeze solid every time I want to use my computer for anything more than a word processor or a DVD player.

Rejoicing will be heard in the land. I still don't know when, though.

Sometimes good things come in gurgling packages.

Hey, kids! Do you know what happened on this date in 1933?

Here's a hint...

That's right! Everybody wore hats!

Cold, with a side order of colder.

The nasty weather hasn't really been all that nasty so far, but the weather forecast remains adamant that it's gonna go out with a memorable bang. So far nighttime temps are mid-twenties, but Monday night it's still supposed to head for single digits. Two new days of cloudy skies have been added by the gloomy forecasters, and it just generally looks like the weather will suck massively until around Thursday. Which is okay with me, because I'm very much enjoying the still-new sensation of sitting in a comfy chair and wearing sandals and a single sweatshirt in front of a cheerily-popping fire while wintergeddon is going on two glass-thicknesses away. The past five winters, by now I'm wearing five layers and desperately trying to get feeling into my fingers before they fall right the hell off. This is a big improvement.

In fact the only problem I've got, and it's not a huge one, is the matter of firewood. There's lots of wood hauled to the Lair but it's not cut to length. I've got three ways to do it, because redundancy is good, but two of them suck and the third is not currently available. I've got to sneak into town during the day to pick up my chainsaw chains, which are currently in the shop, and then I'll be golden. Mustn't put it off till I'm out of firewood.

SayUncle has "Gun Pr0n." TUAK has M.

From M's Forgotten Weapons:

If that's all it takes, I could get a job writing sales labels for European battle rifles - since I know next to nothing about them, and that seems to be a qualification.

M's at the SAR show in Phoenix this weekend, and probably having more fun than I am. I wanted to go this year, but the logistics were prohibitive. Sometimes I do wish I could legally drive myself around.

"Uncle Joel, ..."

"It's snowing. Make it stop."

LB loves the snow - in a perfect world he'd have been born to a sled team. Ghost isn't nearly as enthusiastic, and holds me responsible.

Hasn't actually snowed much here so far, I woke up to an inch or two. Heard on the radio last night, though, that the big town about fifty miles away got like two feet. They're at a higher elevation and always get way more than we do, but that's a bit extreme.

Weather being nasty last night, it was a perfect time to sneak into town and get some goodies to ride out the storms. Mostly just munchies and booze, but also some stuff for the Lair. Doing it the way I do it's pretty much risk-free - I think - but I always get back feeling like I've been shot at and missed. And when I'm shot at and missed I like to celebrate, which means I was up a bit later than usual. Then the boys woke me up around 10:30, just being restless. And then again around two, and this time LB sounded like he was in some distress. I've learned not to ignore that, so I put on my leg and came down to let them out. That was what he needed, and after that he settled right down. Should have gone back up to the loft, but decided to sleep in the big chair. That was a mistake; couldn't get warm enough. Now I know what I'm going to do with my other good wool blanket, which is still at the interim lair. I'll bring it back with me today.

Had hopes of a get-together this evening, but with the weather I'd already been warned it would probably be called off and sure enough it was. So I've got the day to myself again, which is nice too.

Power's not coming back up to snuff during the day, because of all the overcast. I still have a little 'tricity, but mostly the kerosene lamps are making themselves useful. Plenty of wood, plenty of propane for the stove. Today I'm cooking chicken! I'll be a hero with the boys.

You know that vile weather I said was inevitable?

It's rolling in. Supposed to be single-digit temps in a couple of days, preceded by snow and rain.

Of course it was supposed to rain today, with 15 mph wind. Instead it was clear all morning with wind scouring the ground down to bedrock. Clouds are rolling in now, so I suppose rain is still possible but I doubt before dark.

We've only had one night in the teens since the kids and I moved, and the Lair held up to that quite nicely. It's not a fair test, though, till we've got single-digit temps with trailer-tipping wind. That's looking more and more possible before Monday.

And with four days of rain and snow forecasted, in all likelihood I'll find just how low the batteries can go before the inverter quits for good and all. Fortunately I've got lots of kerosene and propane, and plenty enough wood to sit out a week's worth of weather if needed. I hauled in a trailerload of logs on Tuesday.

I don't spend a lot of time admiring McDonalds' lawyers, ...

But when you got it, you got it.

San Francisco's ban on giving away a free toy with a child's meal containing a certain number of calories, salt, and other particulars is set to kick in [today]. McDonald's, the clear target of the ban, had a year to figure out a way to change its business practices. Seems like they used the time wisely, reports the SF Examiner.

Heh. It seems that while it's now illegal to give a kid a toy in San Francisco if it comes with burger and fries, it's still okay to sell it for ten cents and donate the money to charity. It further seems that McD's waited until the last possible moment to announce the policy. Who'd a thunk that SF city politicians wouldn't see that coming?

Though the SF Examiner's article/editorial is strongly in favor of nuking McDonald's from orbit just to be sure and letting it burn in its own trans-fats, it does contain one of the best lines I think I've ever seen in newsprint:

Count this city's lawmakers as the latest among the billions and billions served.

H/T to Balko.

Somebody on this side of the pond should try this!

Heathrow has never been more efficient! Passengers' glee as border agency strike SPEEDS UP passport control

Passengers who had been warned of lengthy delays at Heathrow due to striking workers today said border controls were 'better than usual'.

As Border Agency bosses were forced to take on regular airport workers to man passport control, delighted passengers said queues had been shorter than normal.

The situation was echoed at Dover too as passengers faced apparently normal travel conditions with ferry services 'running well and to time' this morning.